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There was a gate separating Heaven and Hell, which was made of chrome steel. Sometimes the flames of Hell got so hot that they melted the gate, necessitating a replacement gate.

God and the Devil made a contract concerning this. It was only fair, they agreed, that each take turns replacing the steel gate, every time it melted.

So, one day in eternity, the flames got too hot and melted the gate. St. Peter noticed it this time and he called to Lucifer.

"Hey Lucifer! Isn't it your turn this time?" Peter said.

"Yeah, but my people are too busy roasting in Hell, so what the *!*&^@#$ do you want me to do about it?" Lucifer responded rather smarmily.

"I want you to replace the gate. We did so last time," Peter reminded him.

"I know. But I'm not so inclined, so stuff it!" Lucifer sneered.

"OK, since you want to be that way, we'll have to sue for breach of contract," Peter said. And Lucifer responded, "Yeah, right, and just where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"